The reason.

The word “why” may be my favorite word. This is because I actually believe that there are reasons behind all things. And asking why could help me satisfy my curiosity. There are quite some things better left unsaid, people say. I believe in that, too. We need to be able to tell when to find out and when to keep silent. And surely it takes wisdom, for sure.

I got asked this question some days ago,

Why do you think God placed you where you are right now? Have you got the answer?

The question made me think. And I actually came up with an answer. I said yes, I think I have found the answer to that question. Yes, I have found the reasons and God’s actually revealing more and more to me.

God’s actually been changing me into a different person I knew I was. I am fully aware that I am a totally different person by now. I was actually that high mountain who always looked down to others, I was actually that cocky lady who always thought that I was better than others. I only made friends with the ones I thought were good enough. Such a shame on me. I realized by now that I am nothing but a flower, here today and gone tomorrow. I thought I was good enough. I thought my achievements were definition of who I was. I thought I was superior and others were inferior.

Damn! I deserved nothing but to be condemned.

God’s been revealing this bleakest part of me and I believe that he is still at work. I couldn’t believe that I was such a person!!

Well, I actually could have ended up somewhere else instead of here. Somewhere better, somewhere more comfortable, and somewhere with easier challenges. But God has something better in store. According to his mercy, he has brought me here. He has been peeling layer by layer all my bad and change it with the new one.

I’ve got to admit that there was that denial deep in my heart. I actually pretended to be happy having to go here back then. I was so good at pretending. I was real good at wearing masks. But God has unmasked me and nothing is hidden before him. I am naked and there is nothing that he doesn’t know about me.

Today, almost two years passed. I have found the reasons why God brought me this far. And I believe that there’s more. God’s got something more in his head.

So, wherever you are, whatever situation you are in right now, God’s got a plan for you. Too many times God speaks to us but we hear nothing, because we’re too busy and in fact, we’re living in a noisy world. Pause for a little while, take a look around you, and listen. God’s got something for you to learn. God’s actually working in you now, you’ve got to take some time to realize.

take time

*photo was photographed and edited by superriska*


2014: a hello from me.

First of all, happy new year everyone! I am all glad that actually the Mayans were wrong about the end of the world. Haha.
Anyways.. new year means new hopes, new dreams, new chapter of life. We’re opening a new beginning again.
Whatever happened in the past year belongs to the account of the past, we can never get it back. So here we are now, standing straight in the first day of the new year. Have you got some sort of things you wanna do or achieve in this coming year? Oh well, before going too far about the resolutions for the new year, let us stop for a little while and ask ourselves this one question: what lessons did you get from last year’s experiences?
There were 365 days last year, and I believe there’s got to be lots of things we happened to experience. Some were good, nice and you just dont want to forget. Maybe something very memorable and unforgettable like the great time you spent with your loved ones, great opportunities to be exposed to many kinds of blessings and many others. Some were bad, very bad that you think that they are better to be erased from the account of your life forever.
Whether good or bad, you know they belong to the past. They are just here no more, they are nothing but memories written in your book. They will be there forever, they are part of you ever since you got them. Not a single miracle could ever get you back, not a single chance you could ever take them back to your hand.
But here you are now, a new day, a new start.
Looking back should never get you down. Instead, looking back should help you stand taller, and start to be thankful as you look around. Because at the very core, you learned after all.
We all, ordinary people, should learn this one thing better every day: letting go off the things we have no power to change. Of the past, we no longer have any power to fix. But you take the lessons with you for the rest of your life.
It is freaking hard to let go. It really is. How do I know? I am actually in the middle of it.
Life is a journey that has to be walked forward, not backwards. And after all, we all need to die to one life to enter another, said Anatole France.

Forgive and keep moving forward.
Happy new year 2014.
Bye, 2013. I learned a lot.
Hello, 2014. Bring it on, I am all yours.