People will always have something to say.

Pleasing-everybody.jpg

Familiar with the picture? I bet you all are.

We always worry about what people think or say about us. We always worry that we sort of have to please everybody around us. But the truth is, we don’t have to. Just like what we can see from the picture, no matter what they do, others will comment. Well, that must be exhausting to live like that. Living a life that is bound to other’s perception and judgment. It is impossible to please everyone and it is definitely not your job.

In the beginning of her diary, Anne Frank wrote:

I haven’t written for a few days, because I wanted first of all to think about my diary. It’s an odd idea for someone like me to keep a diary; not only because I have never done so before, but because it seems to me that neither I – nor for that matter anyone else – will be interested in the unbosomings of a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl. Still, what does that matter? I want to write, but more than that, I want to bring out all kinds of things that lie buried deep in my heart.

To be honest, I had the same thought when I began this blog. Who will be interested in reading my writings? Who will be interested in my ideas? Who will bother reading my shallow writings? Oh well. Just like what Anne Frank said, “I want to write, but more than that, I want to bring out all kinds of things that lie buried deep in my heart.” Then I started it and I will keep writing no matter what. I know that it is a practice and it is good for me.

So, if you’re thinking about doing something today and you’re afraid because you worry about what people would think about it? Better throw that thought away now. Do what is right, do what makes you happy, do not bother the hearsay. Remember, people will always have something to say anyway. So, do what you believe is true, you’re not doing it for them, you’re doing it for you.

Love always,

-superriska

Because heroes are humans, too.

img_20180109_2035371958675089.jpg

Well, yeah, I guess we have excessively expected from our heroes. In order to be heroes, we subconsciously demand them to transcend their humanness. We want them to always look happy, we want them to always look pretty. We want them to always be successful and their business to always be fruitful. We want them to be always smiling and not failing. We set a standard for them like a superhuman.

But the reality is, such standard is unrealistically unreal. No wonder we are surprised that they are apparently capable of being sad, plain-looking, and also… failing just like we are! They also shed tears when life is rough – and yes, their lives get rough, too! They also look plain without makeups and those pretty outfits. And most importantly, they fail too, many times, just like we all do!

Well, our fallen nature has made us believe that in order to get acceptance we need to meet some kind of unreachable requirement – perfection. But the truth is: nobody is perfect. You and I are not perfect, neither the famous celebrities and heroes. We need to stop overvaluing our heroes and start seeing them as our fellow human beings with flaws and failures as well. Because just like me and you, our heroes are humans, too.

Jika kita tidak lagi berekspektasi terlalu tinggi, mungkin kita bisa lebih bertoleransi. -Fiersa Besari in Catatan Juang

I hope this rings the reminder bell in our hearts.

Peace and love,

-superriska

Why do you think you need to know?

img_20180109_0914492060925918.jpg

That’s still taken from my latest read, Catatan Juang by Fiersa Besari.

The news about Ahok’s file for divorce from his wife has been spread tremendously quickly in only a few hours. I mean, of course, we are talking about Ahok’s divorce here, the former governor who is sentenced two years in jail for blasphemy. Up till now, there is no official statement regarding the cause of the divorce and public has been left curious about it. Since the background reason remains a mystery to the public, some speculations have grown. Some say it is the wife’s disloyalty, some say it is Ahok trying to protect his family, and many other stories that we do not even know which one is true. Even just a few hours earlier, one social media account published a letter containing details of the reasons why Ahok filed for divorce from his wife. Surprisingly to me, many people are buying it. I am not underestimating but I am just being skeptical of that letter. These days, it is really easy to create and spread fraud. People can easily claim something as a proof of truth in the media, but how can you tell? How can you be sure?

My most honest response to what’s happening is this: I don’t think the public has some kind of right to know the details of why Ahok filed for divorce from his wife. It is not something for public’s consumption since it is a family issue. I mean, seriously, this family is now going through one of the most perilous roads of their family life and you are feeding your curiosity by posting and sharing things that are not at all helpful to them? Why do you think you need to know the reasons why? You don’t need to know and they are not obliged to let you know. Will your knowledge about what is really going on in their family be helpful to them and you? Think about that. Why do you do what you do? Is it just for feeding your curiosity? Instead, why don’t we just silently watch while pray for the best for them?

Some of you may disagree with me but it is okay. I am just saying what I have in mind. I hope we can be a wise generation in the fast growing media world like today.

Jadi, lain kali, sebelum posting dan kepo tentang kehidupan orang lain di medsos kamu, coba pikir ulang lagi dan lagi dan lagi, biar apa?

Peace and love,

-superriska

My version of happiness.

Yang terpenting itu bahagia atas semua keputusan yang sudah kita buat. Ini bahagia versiku. Kenapa harus mengikuti bahagia versimu? (Besari 256)

That’s a quote from the last book I read, Catatan Juang by Fiersa Besari.

I realized that there are two types of life in the eyes of society: the so-called normal life and the one that is considered wild, weird, and even stupid. What is categorized as normal is a life that is comfortable, when you have good jobs, earn high salary, settled in a nice home, happily married, and raise nice kids. Such a typical life almost all parents I have met desire for their kids. To be honest, my parents are also included in that group.

When someone asks you about your plan in life and you answer them with a crazy answer like: “I am going to get my doctorate and then live a celibate life as a missionary in some third world country, building libraries and teaching the people how to read and write.”, they are going to think that you have lost your your mind. They think that your idea is insane and your education is wasted. They definitely are not expecting such answer. Instead, they expect something like, “Oh, I am going to get my doctorate and then work in a multinational company in some big city in America. I’ll get married and build my family there.” They will praise you and adore you. They will agree with your plan and they will say amen to your answer.

I always have hard times explaining to people what I have in mind. When I mention about going to some remote places to teach kids there, people roll their eyes. When I get emotional when talking about how miserable life in the streets is, they don’t understand. I don’t understand why people define success only by how much money you earn, how big your house is, how happy you look from the outside. They don’t even care about what you feel deep inside, right?

Well, sometimes we have to just shut our ears from people’s comments about us. Their comments are just words unless we let them define us.

Go get your dreams, friends. You don’t have to worry if society categorizes you as wild, weird, or stupid just because you don’t make decisions as they expect you to. You are not defined by what people say about you. You have your calling and live it out. You have the right to define your own version of happiness and it doesn’t have to be the same as theirs.

Happiness-1

love,

-superriska

A new menu: Through the Readings

I love reading and I have read quite some books in the past. Through the books that I’ve read – from novels to biographies – I have gained insights and learned new things. I have some of my reflections recorded on my handwritten journals but now I think it is a good idea to have them published here as well.

This new section is going to be a space to throw in my personal reflections on the books I’ve read and am currently reading. I am hoping this could be a discussion forum for other bookworms to share ideas, insights, and perspectives. It is always interesting to gain a different perspective; it is an enriching and enlightening experience.

I am also up for a reading challenge on Goodreads. I am aiming to read 12 books this year – a book each month. I think that is a doable number to achieve in the midst of my packed schedule. How about you? How many books will you challenge yourself to read this year? Join me in the challenge and also share your insights into the discussions if you happen to be reading the same book.

P.s.: I am currently reading Catatan Juang by Fiersa Besari.

Cheers! Keep reading!

-superriska